Love vs Punishment Essay
Love vs Punishment
In the article “Justice: Childhood Love Lessons” bell hooks claims that “there is nothing that creates more confusion about love in the minds and hearts of children than unkind or cruel punishment” (hooks 27). In other words punishment of any kind, let it be pinching, flicking or spanking will result in disorientation in a child’s mind. This statement is true to some people, false to others, but overall hooks tends to be bias in her argument. She doesn’t explore the different variations of physical punishment and how these punishments affect the child’s thought about love.
There are many different types of punishment out there in this cruel world, but not all of them can disorientate a child’s mind or heart about love. Simple physical punishments; such as pinching, flicking, and spanking, are carried out on us at a very young age, and all throughout life. Our parents are here to discipline us, to teach us the difference of right and wrong. When we first misbehave, our parents might tell us to “knock it off” or “stop” and they may raise their voice when asserting these commands.
We sometimes stop when told to, but sometimes we ignore their commands and keep misbehaving repeatedly. This is where physical punishment comes into play. A form of physical punishment would and will be carried out on us. At first it may be a simple punishment, but gradually the punishments intensify. Once a punishment has been carried out, many of us become cloaked in fear of punishment and from this fear we learn not to do that mistake again.
Read more: Persuasive Speech About Love
Simple punishment is used for the good of children and to discipline them, “Dr. David Safir, father of five and grandfather of five, CNN asked him to talk to us about his views on spanking. He said he was spanked as a child, spanked his own children when necessary and believes the occasional use of physical punishment — not abuse — can be an effective tool for parents” (Zeidler) If these simple punishments are executed out appropriately by the child’s parents, the child will be certain to remember why he/she was punished. These simple and effortless punishments will certainly not disorientate the child’s mind about love, instead it will discipline the child and help them in their future.
Cruel and intense physical punishment do exist, these types of punishments may scar the child for life, and may even lead to behavior or personality change. For example, “As one man bragged about the aggressive beatings he had received from his mother, sharing that ‘they had been good for him,’ I interrupted and suggested that he might not be the misogynist women-hater he is today if he had not been brutally beaten by a women as a child (paragraph 8). These types cruel, harsh and brutal form of physical punishment will certainly cause confusion about love in a child mind.
As the above example states “he might not be the misogynist women-hater he is today if he had not been brutally beaten by a women as child. ” If this man was cared for and loved by his mom, then he certainly would have not been the misogynist he is now. He was confused and he never knew the true meaning of love, because all the overwhelming pain caused him to change. Millions of children across the world are brutally punished by their parents, siblings, family members and/or relatives.
These children grow up to punish their children the same way they were punished and their children grow up to do the same and so on. These children and all the generations of children after them will be confused about love, their behaviors and personality are certain to change. Hooks fails to explain which types of punishment can cause confusion about love. Her entire argument is biased, she explains everything from her point of view and doesn’t put herself in others shoes.
Her statement itself doesn’t make sense, saying that physical punishment will lead to the confusion about love in a child’s mind. Basically she is trying to imply that if I did something wrong and my parents were to physically punish me that would mean that they don’t love me anymore. Physical punishment if carried out in a appropriate manner will prevent the child from carrying out the mistake again. But if intense and brutal punishment is carried out on a child, the result can be devastating.
The child will grow up filled with hatred, anger and resentment, leading to personality and behavior changes. A child will only be disorientated about love when they have been brutally punished by their parent and later imply that they love them by saying “I’m doing this because I love you” (hooks 27) or “It hurts me more than it hurts you” (hooks 27) In conclusion, “Kids need to be taught right and wrong, but the presumption we need to punish them to teach them this is not supported by the science.
It’s not clear at all that punishment — in any form — is the answer, even though every culture uses punishment in some form. ” (Zeidler) A loving parent would want their child to know what is right and wrong, to do the right and not the wrong, and to succeed at this they might use simple forms of physical punishment.
But an irresponsible and careless parent wouldn’t care about their child at all, in which they will carry out brutal forms of physical punishment leading to major changes of how that child views the world. Explaining and giving more detail about the different types of punishment, would have led hooks into writing a better article. Physical punishments can nurture or completely change a child, but it all depends how the parent chooses to use it. Punishment can exist in various ways even with love.
Our customer support team is available Monday-Friday 9am-5pm EST. If you contact us after hours, we'll get back to you in 24 hours or less.